It’s taken a little over two weeks for it to set it, but I’m engaged y’all! What started out as a casual Saturday evening outing with Dazell and my sister turned out to be a night that has changed my life. Call me corny, but I’ve found forever and…IT’S LIT!
And as happy as this time has been for us, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t feeling a bit overwhelmed. We’re already being pressured to answer questions on topics spanning from wedding details (like location and dates) to more serious decisions like where we’ll live post-wedding. It’s been a lot to take in.
But, despite all the opportunities to be stressed out, I’m committed to finding joy and peace in this season. I know this time of engagement will come and go before we know it and I want to soak every moment of it in. So, instead of putting pressure on myself to align on any wedding details early on, here are a list of my real priorities.
1) Thanking God
If there was one feeling I could clearly and firmly recognize in the days and weeks since Dazell dropped to one knee, it is thankful! I have been praying for Dazell for years, well before we started dating, living in the same city, or even contemplating marriage. And now, as my prayers for him have weaved themselves into my prayers for myself and our future family, I am so grateful for all that God has revealed in us.
At the very basis, I am incredibly happy to have found my life partner in a man who loves the Lord and gives his all to our relationship. And while Dazell and I’s love story is far from motion picture perfect—our Rom Com may have tiptoed into the Drama genre a few times—I’m grateful for every day that has led us to this point
2) Saving money
I’d always heard that weddings are expensive, but I was not ready. I mean, even the surface level research on pricing has my wallet SHOOK. Since we likely won’t opt for the $81 Justice of the Peace option (so tempting) and racking up a huge amount of debt is out of the question, I’ll be making a number of lifestyle changes in preparation for a wedding. Even without a date set, this translates to eating out less, halting any unnecessary shopping, and pushing pause on non work related/funded travel.
And beyond saving for a ceremony and reception, I’m hoping to start saving for our next few stages of life together as well (moving costs, home ownership, family planning, etc.). Knowing that what is now mine will some day be ours—assets and debts included—is motivation enough to get my finances in shape. I guess there’s no better time to commit to side hustling than now!
3) Preparing to be a life partner
Despite the many married couples that I know (my parents included), I’m honestly not yet sure what it will mean for me to be a wife. And I don’t just mean learning to cook for two (or how to cook at all).
What am I agreeing to when I say “til death do us part?” What boundaries will I need to set at work and in my personal life to protect my marriage? What does it mean to be a good daughter in law? What expectations should I even enter a marriage with?
I’m planning to use this time of engagement to prepare the be the best partner in marriage I can be. In the months to come, I’ll be attending premarital classes, reading up on relevant topics, and seeking trusted council.
4) Enjoying these moments
I know that it’s only been a few days, but this time has already been so precious to me. While it sort of feels like nothing has changed in the time since our engagement, in many ways everything is different! While Dazell and I had spoken about what we wanted out of our lives together over the years, in many ways our discussions were sort of vague and very “future” focused. But this very intentional and deliberate act of love has basically confirmed that the rest of my life—as one life with Dazell—is beginning.
Stressful planning aside, I’m hopeful that we will find joy in wedding planning, in using the word “fiance/fiancee” while we can, and in our adventures during last days as a Holman. What better way to prepare for marriage than with happiness?
Share with me!
For my married readers, what’s one piece of advice you would share from your time of engagement? What fond memories do you have from that time? How did you work to keep joy, love, and faith at the center of your relationship at such a hectic time?